how desire changes a mood

the thing that echoes constantly,

"i wish i had known these things before i married you."

i wish i had known a lot of things before i married you. the sad part is, they are all things you could work on, but it's my very being you wish you had known. i thought you did, but you chose to overlook the most intimate parts of me.

i'm so overwhelmed. i'm burnt out. but instead i'm lying here wide awake while my best friend snorts coke and fucks casually. 

and the sad part is i'm jealous. people think i have this adventurous life, but it's all an illusion.

he used to make me feel so alive and free. now i just feel trapped. 

i lost him somewhere along the way. 

he's dark. it's disheartening. 

i can only try for so long. 

i have grown so much and left him in the dust.

[this got out of chronological order again. oh well.]

who do i believe?

Copy.

A replica.

Presuming and assuming your the copy and I'm the original.

But that's wrong.

My mother always said, “You know what happens when you assume.”

Only U don't look like the ASS just ME.

This whole time I've been framed to be the copy.

Blissfully unaware that I was my own person.

But my hand was being held.

It was dragging me into a pit where I would be like you.

I never wanted to be you.

I should have never.

All the characters in the story wanted you.

I was the replacement.

I was nothing.

I was always nothing.

Deceived.

Burned.

Copy.